First, January taught me that I am not ready to fall in love again. If you are in a situation where you can not understand people whom you love, so we are on the same boat. I don't know is this normal or not, but I guess everone will feel it in different time. I am afraid of falling in love, I am afraid of knowing a new guy, I am afraid of talking with boys about my privacy, and yess I just trust my best friend to hear about this till they said "Every feeling is real and you don't need to deny it".
Second, January taught me about failure. For the first time in my 2023, I got failure in my academic. Was I sad? Of course YES. I felt so broken heart after looked at the announcement, and I cried till I didn't teach during two days. "Success and failure are the color of your journey" My mom said via telephone while comforting me. It was not success till one day, I stayed alone and did my reflection while remembering my mom and something that happened in the latest of my life. I realized that I got failure more than once, and see I still got my dream, so now I believe that every struggles will give you sweet results. besides, the most important thing to remember is you do not compete with other people, but you compete with your own self.
And the last, January taught me that now is already the time for me to think about not only my self, but also my mom. You know, what I mean is not about one thing, but it's about everything (Financial, Health, Happiness, and Decision). I can't tell how hurted I am at that time when I was faced with the worst thing in my family. I cried like I don't care people will listen or not. I told my self for giving up, but my mind denied it.
Last but not least, I just wanna tell my self and everyone who is in the lowest moment now that God will never leave you even when you don't have someone to hug you. Remember Allah is with you.🤗
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