Knowing my Self

When I was 21 and 22 years old, I thought that knowing ourselves is not really important because at that time, I don't face any hard challenges. But day by day, I realized that knowing my self is the most important thing in my life. Well, it can be started from a question "what do I want in my life?". Well, maybe if U answered this question, it can be answered that I want to be an independent girl, I want to be a lecturer, I want to be a great and good woman, and I want to be a good woman. But how if I can't achieve those dreams? How if I fail? One day, I got a failure in my life when I was seventh semester. I was confused about something that I must do at that time. Sometimes my mind guided me to cry for the whole day to express my sadness. Meanwhile, on the other side, my mind also guided me to be a strong girl and to hold on my tears. Those two things are reversed, aren't they? And can you imagine how hard I am to know what I really wanted to do at that time? From that experience, one thing that I can tell my self that knowing my self is really really important especially about my own emotions. Here are some points that become parts of my life, but I've just realized about it.

1. I dislike to get a rejection

Since I was a child, I used to cry and feel so broken heart if my mom forbad me to follow her to the market or shop. Right now, I still felt it even for a small thing, e.g my friends didn't want to go to a place, but now I realized that everyone has their own business.

2. I dislike failures

For this one, I guess everyone feels it too, but the problem is I used to blame my self for every failures that I got.

3. I am too hard on my self

I guess, everyone realizes it too wkwkwk. Yes, I realized that sometimes I was too hard on my self. I will do my assignment although I am tired, sick, and feeling burnout

4. I always make other people as a priority

Every I meet other people, I used to tell my self to make them as a priority till I didn't realize that I often hurt my own self.

5. I am afraid of losing people whom I love

Being a single child is such a privilege sometimes, but not for this one. When I find people whom I love, I will love them so much till I didn't realize that everyone can change either because of the situation or other reasons.

From those points, now I know how to overcome my own emotion and love my self more and more, so by that way, I can make other people whom I love happy including my mom